The End

This little blog is finished now, I'm back from Amsterdam and resting at home in London.

Amsterdam was a great experience and a shitty one at the same time. I met a ton of people from every walk of life, from the over 60's reminisching on their drug trips way back when, to kids that came there to try pot for the first time.
It's shown me that there is a good strong culture that takes great pride in cultivating and perfecting some truly spectacular marjuana out in the Netherlands and talking to people from Australia, Switzerland, Germany, USA and so forth I was pleased to see it blur international barriers and bring people together over the course of the Cup. Australia have, I believe, voted on a weed legalization motion whilst I was at the Cup.
The last day was spent in a homage to weed. I bought 1g of Superskunk, the weed I got so high on at University a few years ago, 1g of Diesel, the first weed to really impress me in Amsterdam and 2g of the Cup winner 2008, Super Lemon Haze. All from the Greehouse Effect. I rolled each bag into 1 joint, with a little extra hash, skuff and kiff to pep them up. The two first bags ended up in two identical cones, rolled in the traditional fashion, wide enough to use the whole paper and looking faintly ridiculous for all their girth. The third bag was all ground and put into a larger joint, twice the size of these and rolled in a cigar fashion to contain the lemon haze, with a huge cardboard roach.
It was halfway through my rolling that I noticed all the kit around, there was a portable mixing desk on the end of the table and a bunch of AV kit. tripods and cameras. Then I noticed the other cup on the table next to my coffee. I was drinking strong coffee to weather the weed and my small black ceramic cup was sitting freshly emptied on the table next to another. The base was a wooden block witha a brass stem fastened to it. The stem was a double-helix design with the brass streamers encircling one another, fastened to a brass cup. It was a bit tarnished but there was not doubting its pedigree, this was the real deal. The Cannabis Cup.
I fought back the urge to paw it, steal it or order a coffee in it and got a few photos instead. They interviewed the guys from some Italian TV show with me sitting next to the owner, just out of eyeshot. I have no idea what he was saying but he managed to hold this Cup level with his face and mug with it for an impressive 20 minutes whilst spouting a torrent of Italian without seeming to stop for breath.
An American woman sat down, one of the growers and we chatted about weed for a bit while I put the finishing touches to the Super Lemon Haze cigar creation. It had been a good year for the growers too and she seemed pretty happy. We chatted over the joint and soon I was left holding an oily chunk of paper and card, drained of its weedy goodness. I looked at my watch and left for the airport.
Wandering along the streets on a massive euphoric high I realised that I am simply not able to enjoy weed in moderation. In fact I pointedly don't and often aim straight for oblivion or as wasted and I can be and still walk. Sure I enjoy it but weed hasn't done a lot for me. A number of years ago I formed some very good friendships through weed but for the last few years it's been a vice that's slowly slipped out of control. Occasionally to knock back clouds of depression but more commonly for me to simply stop myself getting bored when I'm on my own. I'm looking forward to being sober. To remembering all of this in due course. To having more of a social life and enjoying myself when sober. I look forward to all these things.

Thanks for the wonderful people of Amsterdam for being so welcoming and thanks for all the fellow tourists that I was able to share this trip with.

5 footer

Wipe Out. The first of the festival, I ended up coughing like a little kiddie.

The smoke in question was a 5ft tall bong loaded with a block of hash and a liberal amount of skuff. Hot and strong. My delicate lungs are unused to bongs and so I almost collapsed but I stifled the coughing, cleared the bong and left.

The only thing the Expo is good for is free bong hits.

Now the challenge is over I'm seriously bored. I'm a decadent sort and without a target to aim for and some pleasure to seek I get demotivated and mopey. Which is now if I'm not careful. Gotta find something interesting.....

Over and out

Judged, done and dusted.

the weed has been (almost entirely) smoked and I've sampled all the Cannabis Cup entrants this year. This necessitated voting at some point, although exactly when was only made clear when I asked a bloke in the hotel bar this morning. "You have 90 minutes before voting closes".
Ahh. Best skip the morning coffee then and get out of here. I went over to the Hotel Victoria to hail the purple shuttle bus over the the PowerZone. (a typically European jumble of English words which collectively convey nothing more than the author's ignorance of the language in question. Hypercool is another one. Grumble grumle) I recorded a little video on the bus and chatted to an interesting couple who were also off to Judge. They were very quiet and had been doing tourist stuff too. There's a lot of people here to buy weed or growing equipment and they range from the quiet, ordinary conservative types through typical clean-cut twenty-somethings to those with the gangsta image.
I got my pass from the nice dude at the counter and went through into the next room to fill it out. I ended up going for the Super Lemon Haze and the Royal Jelly although I was tempted by both the Bubblegum and the Grey Martian.
Now I have to roll a few joints and figure out what to do. Jesus. I've just remembered. I need to get something to eat. Haven't eaten since I finished those oranges before bed yesterday. Preferably a pastry. Maybe a burger. Maybe a curry Maybe a chinese take-away. Perhaps all of them.

Final day of judging.

I am perspiring THC. One joint of Happy Feeling's Super Silver Haze and one of Green Place's Chocolope.

Off to do some judging at last! I have all the weed and have smoked a large portion of it.

Ritter Sport Rum & Raisin. My type of sports accessory.

Done! I've toured the coffee shops and have been to 23/24 I think. Was too wasted to remember SoftLand but was definitely there. I did The Dolphins and Happy Feelings. Dolphin had some foxy bar staff and a decent weed but not exceptional.
Kamer - La Confidential
Happy Feelings - Super Silva Haze
Grey Area - Green Martian
Grey Area - Grey Crystal

I rolled a fat joint with 1g of Grey Martian and 0.5g grey crystal, a green powder from the skiff. Combined with a pinch of tobacco which I use to clean the grinder afterwards and I'm away. The joint was pretty fat but an excellent smoke with the skiff leading to a clean refreshing high. The grey martian isn't the strongest weed but the skiff gave it a lift, and it has a wonderful hint of Juicy Fruits gum on the first taste of each inhale.

Time to roll another one. Only one coffee shop remains, I may reach it tomorrow. It's a little suburban place but a couple of miles further out past everything. I spoke to a couple of Dutch guys who had some of its weed and it did taste most fine. We shall see what happens tomorrow.

Laters
S

Also, the Koskia weed is actually Roshia.

Mental Note

I must find out how to vote here.

Refuel. Over-filled

A curry, some chocolate-covered macaroons, ice-cream snickers, mars and bounty. and some apple turnovers dipped in this custard/apple stuff I found which came in a bucket. With a handle and everything.
3 notches on my belt later I'm falling asleep as my body tries hard to cater for all this. Somehow I wake up and slowly burp, fart and groan my way across the city. Being ill is always appealing at times like this, even more so with the alien-goo possibilities of all that custard. I make a point of never being ill. Be it alcohol or food, I'd rather learn my limits. When it comes to cakes covered in custard I have almost none. Choosing raspberry yoghurt as my drink probably wasn't ideal either. 2l of yoghurt today. Them thar's healthy bacteria.
I've made it back to the hotel now, and I'm liking the GreenPlace's chocolope.

More entries

Katsu: W: Black Widow.

Rookies W: D----, Koskia: Label rubbed off but very nice soft smoke with a smooth high. Good tangy taste too but that could be my thc soaked tongue.

Mellow Yellow: W: Bubble Gum. Delivers, a very strong clear high from this one. You're not left stumbling around, you're enthused and lifted.

Green place: Chocolope. About to try this one.

moving on

went to noon and katsu and stopped over in rookies. i have this perpetual stingy citrus flavour in my mouth. It's quite tasty but I think that perhaps my tongue is turning numb from weed. I've got some bananas for energy and presently my diet consists of of banana and coffee but i also fit in some donuts and chocolate for balance. Chocolate is exceedingly energy rich and is thus the ideal choice for the Pro Stoner. In times of crisis as little as 2 or 3 bars of chocolate can bring worth previously unheard of energy reserves.
But today it's bananas. I like writing. It's like a creative stretch, raising my skinny little wrists to the skies sighing. I don't much care who reads it but I'm very happy indeed to have some record of the proceedings.
Did I mention cafe 420?I have a large blank on my record book and no weed. Apparently they have a VERY good weed, it just happens that when smoking it all in one reefer I tend to say things like "this is fucking awesome, I'm so toasted I'm never going to remember this. remind me tomorrow please" and await confused for sections of my memory to re-appear. I have a faint feeling that I mentioned this already.
So, time to spark one of Noon's S5 Haze at Rookies.

Not Lemon

Lemon Haze, Lemon Amnesia (Haze), Lemnesia, Lemon Sour Diesel (LSD). Lemon Lemon Lemon.

Not lemon.

The flavour that arrives first is bitter and has hints of acid and pithyness but then the flavour broadens into something more with notes of root vegetable and some tanin thin sharp character. Not lemon.

Parsnip. Like a roasted parsnip that is sweet yet bitter (and a horrible addition to any roast dinner) but delicious. Yummy. A wonderful aftertaste. Go Parsnip.

Amsterdam Survival Kit

In order to emerge unscathed in a serious weed-smoking situation I advise the following:

Back left pocket: Passport
Back right pocket: wallet
front left pocket: iphone, camera, headphone and handsfree
front right pocket: change, tissues, assorted security passes and lighters
change pocket: keys
jacket right pocket: Aladdin's cave.

I have 4 different types of hash and 12 different weeds here. It's getting tricky to organise. I'm making good use of any permanents marker pens left lying around to tag who, what and where on them.

Had some TripleX from the Resin coffeeshop, a nice high and as only the second joint of the day I can still guage these things. That I am able to perceive it over the effects of the Lemon Haze from Greenhouse impressed me. A good high, but then also tickley and it made the guy I shared some with to break into a fit of coughs and get some water. This was an old grey-haired Texan dope smoker who was an original hippie. So it's ok that I had to clear my throat a couple of times ;) Whose a hardcore motherfucker? I'm a hardcore motherfucker! Ta-da-ta-da da-da-da.
Anyhow, this guy was over here and chilling out, he said he was a regular here and a grower and that he had something of his own but he wasn't sharing it until it was ready for release at another Cup. Watch this space.
The next one is gonna be The Bubble Gum, from right here in Mellow Yellow; chilling out to jazzy deep house and endless cups of Dutch coffee. Nice.

Stereotypes

I wandered over to the Greenplace this morning to start things off with a quick stop at Albert Heinz to get some pastries and fruits. This isn't a health-drive per se, but I'm trying to counteract the two XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger and curly fries that I had as a late snack last night. I felt like a large beefy gasbag, anaesthetised more by the food than by the thick streams surging through my body.
It is however very energy dense which is important in an event when faced with an endless stream of coffeeshops and tourists. Speaking of which, I was talking to a couple of Scousers in Greenplace and they stole my grinder. Borrowed, squirreled away and not returned. You like your stereotype now, eh? Well, you're all a bunch of thieves to me.

Ahhh.

Today was a beautiful crisp day, a pleasure to walk around the city. The sun was out.

I made it.

I'm back at the hotel with the contestants. Let's have a quick line up:

Barneys:
H: Royal Jelly: Awesome, light, lifts you out of your body and has a honey tinged aftertaste. Flowery aroma on the hash.
H: Triple Zero: OK, earthier and less intense than the royal jelly. nothing special.
W: Utopia Haze: Light lavendery scent, white widow-like flavour.

The GreenHouse United:
Super Lemon Haze: I love this shit! I love this shit! It's so tangy. A random bystander was questioned and they reckoned it was "zesty". It's a skunk and haze something or other. Something is kicking off in the lobby now and people are shouting. No wait, it's ok. I reckon the lemon haze's are likely winners this year with this unique citrus smell and tangy taste.

Dampring:
W: Cheese: Skunky, nothing special.
H: King Hassan: More of that honey-scented goodness, with some other flavours under there. Hash here is so different to English hash, it has clear character and refinement and it's a true shame that we seem unable to import or produce it. This one was pleasant and the flavour lasted nicely with a rich spicy and honey after-taste.

Resin
W: Triple X: A pale bud that has those pungent almost minty notes in it.

420: Fuck knows, I'm too wasted to remember. Might have been that I bumped into this American judge I had met earlier. He may have got this one and we smoked one of it. Didn't leave a big impression.

Betty Boop:
M-Kash Ultra: A dollar bill depicting Betty Boop enclosing a square wafter 0.5g of hash. To be tested...
Also random weed. Unknown.

Homegrown Fantasy Gallery:
Cheese: Boring skunkyness, nothing special.
Hindu Kush: Interesting dry flavour, soft and sweet.
Free stuff: Judge's freebie is a dark bitter weed that looks like a very dark purple haze and is sticky to the touch.

Amnesia:
LSD: Nice high, write more later
Amnesia Lemon:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am in possession of a truly excessive amount of cannabis.

Woah. Have managed to get my book stamped at last! A signature from the fast-talking proprietor of Dampring from whom I got some King Hussan hash (cos I liked the name) and some weed Called Cheese because any skunk smelly enough to be compared to a rotting dairy product deserves to be in my joint.
I confidently checked my bearings and headed off. Got to the next coffeeshop, just purchased the two enties of and and moved on.
Then I went back to the first place and asked the nice gent if he'd by any chance seen someone roughly my height but chronically shitfaced leave their judges voting book on the counter. Cos if he had he was like my idiot brother and I'd give it back to him. The book was returned with record speed. Clearly some an efficient filing system for the storage of junk unintentionally discarded by stoned patrons as they hunt for a lighter only to leave their mobile phone, passport and confidential government documents on the bar.

Repeat this trick five or six times over and I'm at number 18 out of 24, starting from 24. But missing 24 cos they still haven't stamped me. I'm like this in supermarkets, enjoying driving the trolley so much that I do laps of the baked goods.
I now have to regroup and order some coffee. Lots of coffee.

Best invention I ever bought

Tincture. Created by using a solvent to dissolve crystal of 'the good shit' and carry it away from the solids in a suspension. Works quickly well in alcohol and enters the bloodstream quicker but you get a more thorough and rapid release of the chemicals into oil initially. The trouble being that oils are limited to the normal digestive track and aren't absorbed as readily. Hmm. But wait Professor, what about a oil-alcohol coloid? Yeah man. And then jam it in a little spray thing like a large breath spray. 5 sprays under the tongue for rapid absorption and one on top for flavour. :)
3 or 4 minutes later the effects become evident and I've got a nice buzz going on. Imagine this but mint flavoured and scented. Mix it 50/50 with Listerine and walk down the street pleasanty stoned and minty fresh. It looks inoccuous enough too. Ahhh, the possibilities.

Food food and freebies.

Hunger. Found incredible burger joint and got a burger with blue cheese, bacon, gherkin, fried egg. Also had a chinese earler. One of those where you choose the ingredients and they fry it up. I'm tempted to cave and say I like Dutch food. Was shown a little donut truck that had freshly cooked donuts with raisins in them and also some sliced open and stuffed with a rum and raisin filling. Both were good.
OK, that was all getting a little American Psycho with the donuts so we'll move on. Post donuts but pre-gigantic burger me and a dude I was talking to in the hotel decided to brave it and go to Barney's in the hope of some good weed. It was fucking freezing and wavering between rain and snow.
We got there and I claimed my freebie's. Yay. Freebies. Got some Royal Jelly hash and Utopia Haze at Barneys. Some Triple Zero too. Got back here and rolled one of the Royal Jelly. The room fell away and after a couple of drags I was left with the unmistakable taste of honeycomb; a waxy rich honey flavour. I was pondering this and asking some other people if they had noticed this when it crept up on me. Bam. Incredible lifting high and all of a sudden I am rendered weightless, floating. This isn't a skunky hit here, I'm sitting on a little wooden chair, perched upright and awake. My mind is just..... high. My body remain with it and I see why people like hash. Mind you, this is a judge's sample and this stuff is normally about 45 euros a gram. I figured we should do just one joint with it to get a clear idea of what it was about.

The results are impressive. :) In other news, tomorrow I must get a bicycle.

Lindt truffles sustain me!!

So I forgot to eat for most of today and have been living off the duty free spoils. Awesome.

I've tested a plethora of different weed and looked around the Expo; live reggae and heavy-duty horticulture. It was ok, I was hanging out and chatting to some judges I'd met in the queue names withheld for the sake of day-jobs and all. They're all fucking in IT it seems. ;) Hurray for drug abuse and the Tech industry. Met a very cool couple from California who were enjoying themselves as well as taking a very pointed and well-read interest in the growing equipment. He said he'd got a few plants at home and explained some of the finer points of hash making to me.

We went over to Abraxas which claimed bizarrely enough that they were not in the Cannabis Cup, despite a mound of information to the contrary and some poring over the GPS. I also learnt that in order to vote I would need to get my booklet stamped in every coffeeshop. As opposed to none.

It's been another cool day, take it easy. The next week's gonna be something else.

Getting stuck in

Got up early despite a late late night chatting to two judges whom I met downstairs at the meetingplace. They had some samples of the entered strains and I thought I should help them out and offer my expert opinions. Heh, so then I turned around and it was 4am.
The infamous Lemon Haze is at large again, this stuff accounted for a memory loss of most of one morning and a persistent taste of lemon bathroom cleaner. That's a bit harsh, but it's that sort of lemon that most definitely isn't born of a real lemon. Like rind almost.
I've got my pass, after standing in a long line outside a trailer in an industrial estate that one guy was jokingly referring to as a Half Life 2 urban wasteland. Met a bunch of Americans enjoying themselves over here and we got a bus over to Bluebird to try their Star Wars weed and as one dude said - a lot like the new 3 Star Wars movies, mostly hype. Nice taste but not strong enough to be really distinctive.
We've moved onto Rusland coffeeshop, which means Russian I think. It's very red and there's some nice breaks tinkling in the background, most conducive to the high we're about to recieve from the sticky soft Indian Delight hash in the pipe. This cafe is only entering hash and we've got little sticky lump of blackish Indian Delight and a lump of Isolator hash. It's all good and the buzz is immense.
I bumped into a dude who claimed to be smoking 25g+ a day and had conspicuously yellowed front teeth. Stephen takes note and digs out his toothbrush. I doubt whether I can smoke a Ounce a day, it seems too much to appreciate it and the man did admit to having a numb cheek and jaw when doing this. This is the nearest to marijuana poisoning that I have personally encountered.
It's snowing here and is most picturesque. Should get back to the judging....

Now I'm a blogger

This is raising issues. I am by the nature of this website and my published words a blogger. I fucking hate bloggers. This is causing some conflict. I'll do my best not to be self-important, pompous and irrelevant but I am very, very, very, very wasted.

So, what about tobacco?

About a year ago the Netherlands introduced no-smoking legislation.

Effectively banning the public smoking of all tobacco products.

Spot the large glaring omission here? Yeah, those crazy Dutch love their weed. So strictly speaking if I were to add tobacco to a joint I was smoking here I could be thrown out. Clearly very few people have been thrown out of coffee shops and the nation hasn't just turned massively hardcore smokers. The barmaid confirmed that the law hasn't stopped people although more people are removing tobacco from their joints.

I had been preparing for this, getting used to smoking just one neat joint rather than a couple of joints with tobacco. Getting used to it. This dumb bravado meant that I was kinda shitfaced but I did get that weird citrus flavour by the bucketload.

Time to get registered. Part the First.

Right, I'm sat here in the hostel with a bunch of French guys who are enjoying the ritualistic past-time of 'picking on the really wrecked guy as he hangs his head'. My feet are bruised.

I decided that I ought to get to the PowerZone which was the registration point and centre of all things Cannabis Cup. My GPS said 6km ywhich my fuzzled brain interpreted into "a nice easy stroll looking at some of the town". It fucking well wasn't. It was a damn long way.

When I finally got there I was greeted by a single sullen security guard and a man quizzing him. Evidently the security dude knew nothing or didn't give a shit, or, being in security, a honed sense of both.

The Russian dude was there to interview people and surprisingly knew less than me. I was impressed at that. We then got a train back into town and abysmally failed to register at any of the other bars. I got some Citrenaliah and some Lavender weed. The Citrenaliah has a silly name but is sharp and heady, bit of a tang whereas the Lavender is all faint herb fragrances living up to its namesake. Both very nice.

So, total failure to register today. Still if I get out of bed before 1pm tomorrow I can beat the rush. :)

I have arrived in Amsterdam. Again.

Its been some time now but I'm back here again. For the tenth, eleventh or twelfth time. That general range.
But this time I have a mission! Extending beyond the immediate intake of as much juicy fresh marijuana as I can possess.
I am a judge in the 2008 High Times Cannabis Cup, a renowned competition where prestigious growers showcase their latest achievements in the continual quest to, like, get a bit more like high, y'know?
What a grand intro eh? A gallumphing great entrance which is now going to be let down. Because I know nothing about what I'm supposed to be doing. I have a place to pick up a judges pass and that's it.
Accommodation is looking good, staying in a nice central location. I have heard rumours that there is to be a coffee shop crawl and I won't have to navigate to many troublesome canal-ridden backstreets to get home. Right, time to roll one.
PS
Damn. I forgot the before picture for the before and after picture. Nevermind, look like the same scruffy bastard with huge sideburns as usual. Same old same old.